داستانی از ادگار آلن پو
برخی از موضوعات توجه همه را به سوی خود جلب میکنند، اما وحشتناکتر از آنند که موضوع داستانهای تخیلی معمولی باشند. اگر افراد رمانتیک دلشان نمیخواهد که توهینی به آنها بشود یا حالشان به هم بخورد، باید از چنین موضوعاتی دوری کنند. آنها فقط زمانی به درستی کار میکنند که شکوه و جلال حقیقت، تأیید و تقدیسشان کند. مثلاً ما با شدیدترین «دردهای لذتبخش» مربوط به حکایتهای جنگ سرزمینهای برزینا[۱]، زلزلهی لیسبون، طاعون در لندن، کشتار سنبارتلمی[۲] یا خفه شدن صد و بیست و سه نفر از زندانیان در زندان «سوراخِ سیاه»ِ شهر کلکته به هیجان میآییم. اما در پس این حکایتها، واقعیت، حقیقت و تاریخی وجود دارد که صرفاً باید از آنها بیزار باشیم.
در بالا، به برخی از مصیبتبارترین و بزرگترین فجایع در طول تاریخ اشاره کردم؛ اما در آنها این وسعت فاجعه و نه خودِ ویژگی منحصر به فرد آن است که به وضوح، قوهی خیال ما را تحت تأثیر قرار میدهد. نیازی نیست به خوانندگان یادآوری کنم که من از میان فهرست طولانی و عجیب غریب بدبختیهای بشر، نمونههای انفرادی را انتخاب کردهام که نسبت به چنین فاجعههای همگانی، انباشته از درد و رنج بیشتریاند. و البته که وحشتناکترین بدبختی و رنج نهایی، فردیست نه جمعی. بابت این موضوع که انسان به تنهایی و نه به صورت جمعی باید وحشتِ اوج لحظات اندوه را تحمل کند، باید از خداوندِ بخشنده سپاسگزار باشیم.
زنده به گور شدن قطعاً هولناکترین تجربهی ممکن در این فهرست و صرفاً مختص بشریت است. افراد متفکر به ندرت وقوع این عمل را که بارها و بارها اتفاق افتاده است، انکار میکنند. مرزی که زندگی و مرگ را از هم جدا میکند در بهترین حالت مبهم و تاریک است. از کجا میتوان فهمید که در کدام نقطه، زندگی تمام و مرگ آغاز میشود؟ میدانیم که بیماریهایی وجود دارند که بر اثرِ آنها تمام کارکردهای ظاهری حیات متوقف میشوند و با این حال، این توقف صرفاً همچون تعلیقی میان مرگ و زندگیست. آنها صرفاً توقفهایی موقتی در مکانیسمی نامفهوماند. زمان مشخصی سپری میشود و بعضی از قواعد نادیدنی اسرارآمیز دوباره چرخدندهها و چرخهای جادویی را به حرکت وامیدارد. نه ریسمان نقرهای شل شده و نه جام طلایی به طرز غیرقابل جبرانی شکسته است. اما در آن لحظات، روح کجاست؟ با این حال، صرف نظر از نتیجهگیری اجتنابناپذیر، مقدم بر این مسئله که چنین علتهایی باید چنین معلولهایی را در پی داشته باشند- یعنی اینکه چنین رخدادهای شناختهشدهای که باعث توقف موقت زنده ماندن میشوند، گاهی به صورت طبیعی، منجر به خاکسپاریهای زودهنگامی میشوند- شهادت مستقیم تجربیات پزشکی و عادی را نیز داریم که اثبات میکنند تعداد بیشماری از چنین خاکسپاریهای زودهنگامی در واقع اتفاق افتادهاند.
اگر لازم باشد میتوانم همین الان به صدها مورد تأیید شده از چنین رخدادی اشاره کنم. ماجرای یکی از شخصیتهای قابلتوجه که شرایط داستانش از آنجایی که به تازگی اتفاق افتاده است، برای خوانندگان داستانم چندان دور از ذهن نیست، در همسایگی شهر بالتیمور[۳] اتفاق افتاد که هیجان دردناک، شدید و گستردهای را پدید آورد. همسر یکی از محترمترین شهروندان، وکیل برجسته و عضو کنگره، به بیماری ناگهانی و مرموزی دچار شد که پزشکان ماهر را کاملاً گیج و سردرگم کرده بود. بعد از رنج بسیار درگذشت یا دستکم اینطور به نظر میرسید که درگذشته است. البته که هیچ کس شکی در این نداشت که او مُرده است. او تمام نشانههای ظاهری مرگ را داشت. چهرهاش مانند چهرهی اجسادُ رنگ پریده و خالی از زندگی، لبهایش کمرنگ و شیشهای و چشمانش خالی از درخشش به نظر میرسند. بدنش هیچ گرمایی نداشت و قلبش از تپش ایستاده بود. به مدت سه روز بدن را خاک نکردند و در طول این مدت بدنش به سختی سنگ شد. به طور خلاصه میتوان گفت با توجه به اینکه تصور میکردند جسد به سرعت تجزیه خواهد شد، مراسم خاکسپاری را با شتاب ترتیب دادند.
آن خانم را در مقبرهی خانوادگیشان، جایی که باید به مدت سه سال کسی به آنجا نمیرفت، قرار دادند. پس از گذشت سه سال، درِ آنجا برای دریافت تابوت باز شد؛ اما افسوس! چه شوک هراسناکی منتظر همسر او بود که خودش در را باز کرد! وقتی درهای مقبره باز شدند، یک شیء سفید رنگی با سر و صدا درون آغوش مرد غلتید. آن شیء اسکلت زنش بود که هنوز پوشیده در کفن بود.
تحقیقات دقیقتر نشان داد که آن زن دو روز پس از تدفینش احیا شده است؛ و تقلا کردنهایش در تابوت باعث شده بود که تابوت از روی طاقچه به زمین بیافتد. بدینترتیب درِ تابوت شکسته و او توانسته بود از آن خارج شود. چراغی که تصادفاً پُر از روغن در مقبره باقی مانده بود، خالی پیدا شد؛ گرچه شاید بر اثر تبخیر خالی شده باشد. روی بالاترین پلهای که به سمت دخمهی وحشتناکی در آن پایین میرفت، قسمت بزرگی از تابوت قرار داشت که نشان میداد ظاهراً قصد داشته تا به وسیلهی ضربه زدن با آن به در آهنی مقبره، توجه دیگران را جلب کند. بنابراین در حالی که مشغول آن کار بوده است، احتمالاً غش کرده یا درجا از شدت ترس مُرده است و کفنش به قسمت برجستهی داخلی آهن گیر کرده و همانجا به صورت ایستاده پوسیده است.
در سال ۱۸۱۰، موردی از زنده به گوری در فرانسه رخ داد که پیامدهای آن حاکی از آن است که حقیقت عجیب و غریبتر از داستانهای خیالیست. قهرمان این داستان دوشیزه ویکتورین لافورکاد[۴]، دختر جوان زیبایی از خانوادهای برجسته و ثروتمند بود. جولین بوست[۵]، ادیب یا روزنامهنگاری در پاریس، یکی از خواستگاران بیشمار بود. استعداد و خوشقلبی او، توجه دوشیزه را که ظاهراً جولین عمیقاً عاشقش شده بود جلب کرد؛ اما در نهایت غرور ذاتی دوشیزه به او اجازه نداد تا جولین را بپذیرد و در عوض با موسیو رونل[۶]، بانکدار و دیپلماتی عالیمقام، ازدواج کرد. با این حال، پس از ازدواج، موسیو رونل، اغلب از ویکتورین غافل میشد و حتی با او بدرفتاری میکرد. ویکتورین پس از آنکه با بدبختی چند سالی را کنار او گذراند، درگذشت، یا دستکم وضعیتش از نظر همهی کسانی که او را دیدند شبیه کسی بود که مُرده است. او نه در مقبره، بلکه در قبری معمولی در گورستان روستای محل تولدش دفن شد. جولین سرشار از ناامیدی، درحالی که هنوز خاطرهی عشق عمیقش در او زنده بود، با این هدف عاشقانه از پایتخت به آن روستای دورافتاده سفر کرد که با نبش قبر کردن ویکتورین بتواند طرهای از گیسوان با ارزش او را برای خود بچیند. در نیمههای شب، به قبر نزدیک شد و تابوت را از زیر زمین بیرون کشید، در آن را باز کرد، و وقتی خواست قسمتی از موهای او را بچیند با چشمانِ باز معشوقهاش مواجه شد. در واقع ویکتورین درحالی که هنوز زنده بود به خاک سپرده شده بود. حیات در او کاملاً از بین نرفته بود و با نوازشهای عاشقش از آن رخوتی که با مرگ اشتباه گرفته شده بود بیرون آمد. جولین با آشفتگی او در آغوش کشید و به محل اقامتش در روستا بُرد. او چند داروی مشخص بسیار قوی را که البته مورد تأیید هیچ پزشکی نبودند به ویکتورین خوراند و در نهایت او کاملاً احیا شد. ویکتورین نجاتدهندهاش را شناخت و تا زمانی که به آهستگی سلامتی کاملش را به دست آورد کنار او ماند. قلب زنانهی او از سنگ نبود و این درس آخر عشق کافی بود تا آن را نرم و تقدیم به جولین کند. او دیگر نزد شوهرش بازنگشت، در عوض احیایش را از او پنهان کرد و با معشوقش به آمریکا رفت. بیست سالِ بعد، آن دو به فرانسه بازگشتند و از آنجایی که گذرِ زمان چهرهی زن را تغییر داده بود، دوستانش نتوانستند او را به جا بیاورند. گرچه آنها اشتباه کردند، موسیو رونل در نخستین دیدار او را شناخت و ادعا کرد که همسر اوست. ویکتورین در برابر این ادعا مقاومت کرد و دادگاه قضایی نیز با این تصمیم که با توجه به شرایط خاص و نادر و گذشت سالهای بسیار زیاد، به طور صحیح و قانونی، موسیو رونل دیگر شوهر او نیست، از ویکتورین حمایت کرد.
«مجلهی جراحی لایپسیک»[۷] که نشریهی معتبریست و بعضی از کتابفروشیهای آمریکایی آن را ترجمه و منتشر میکنند، در شمارهی اخیرش از وقوع تعداد زیادی از موارد زنده به گوری خبر داده است.
یکی از افسران توپخانه، مردی با بدنی تنومند و سراپا سالم، از روی اسبی رامنشدنی به زیر افتاد و ضربهی شدیدی به سرش وارد شد که فوراً او را بیهوش کرد؛ جمجمهاش به صورت سطحی شکسته بود اما ظاهراً خطر دیگری او را تهدید نمیکرد. پزشکان جمجمهی او را با موفقیت سوراخ کردند. اما او خونریزی کرد و مجبور شدند از بسیاری از ابزارهای کمکرسانی دیگر استفاده کنند. با این حال، به تدریج حال او رو به وخامت بیشتری گذاشت تا اینکه در نهایت تصور کردند که او مُرده است.
هوا گرم بود و او را با شتاب ناخوشایندی، در یکی از گورستانهای عمومی دفن کردند. مراسم تشییع جنازهی او روز پنجشنبه بود. یکشنبهی هفتهی بعد، طبق معمول، بازدیدکنندگان در محوطهی گورستان ازدحام کرده بودند. نزدیک ظهر هیجان شدیدی در گورستان در پی اعلام دهقانی ایجاد شد که گفت وقتی بالای قبر افسر نشسته بوده است، به وضوح جنبشی را از زیر زمین احساس کرده است، گویی کسی آن زیر در حال تقلا کردن بوده است. اول کسی به حرف او توجهی نکرد، اما ترس آشکارش و اینکه مصرانه بر سر حرفش مانده بود در نهایت بر جمعیت اثر گذاشت. به سرعت بیلهایی تهیه شد و قبری که به طرز شرمآوری کمعمق شده بود در عرض چند دقیقه خالی و سر افسر نمایان شد. در طول تقلاهای خشمگینانهاش توانسته بود در تابوت را تا حدی باز کند و گرچه قبلاً ظاهراً مُرده بود، در آن لحظه تقریباً راست در تابوتش نشست.
بالافاصله او را به نزدیکترین بیمارستان منتقل کردند و در آنجا پزشکان اعلام کردند که او هنوز زنده است، اما در وضعیت اختناق به سر میبرد. پس از گذشت چند ساعت، احیا شد و چند نفر از آشنایانش را به جا آورد و با جملات دست و پا شکستهای به آنها از عذابی که در قبر کشیده بود گفت.
براساس آنچه تعریف کرد مشخص شد که درحالی که زنده به گور شده بود، پیش از آنکه از هوش برود، باید بیشتر از یک ساعت به هوش بوده باشد. آن گور با خاکی پر از خلل و فرج و با بیاحتیاطی پُر شده بود؛ و به همین دلیل مقداری هوا به داخل تابوت وارد میشد. او صدای قدمهای جمعیت را از بالای سرش میشنیده است و تلاش کرده بود تا صدای خودش را به آنها برساند. او گفت که ظاهراً سر و صدا و غوغای آن روز در گورستان بود که او را از خواب عمیقی بیدار کرد، اما پیش از آن هنوز در خواب بود و متوجه موقعیت وحشتناکش نشده بود.
براساس شواهد ثبت شده، وضعیت این بیمار ظاهراً خوب بوده و به نظر میرسیده است که به زودی سلامتی کاملش را به دست میآورد، تا اینکه قربانی آزمایشهای پزشکی شد. باتری گالوانیزهای به او وصل کردند که باعث شد به صورت ناگهانی در طیِ یکی از آن تشنجهای شدیدی که اغلب به او دست میداد، تمام کند.
با این حال، اشاره به باتری گالوانیزه، مرا به یادِ موردی بسیار مشهور و فوقالعاده عجیب انداخت. در این مورد از باتری گالوانیزه، برای بازگرداندن زندگی به وکیل لندنی جوانی استفاده شده بود که دو روز از خاک کردنش میگذشت. این اتفاق در سال ۱۸۳۱ افتاد و هر جا موضوع بحث قرار میگرفت، احساس عمیقی را در مردم برمیانگیخت.
بیمار، آقای ادوارد استپلتون[۸]، ظاهراً بر اثرِ تب تیفوس، به همراه برخی از علائم غیرعادی فوت کرد که کنجکاویِ پزشکان او را تحریک کرده بود. پس از آنکه به نظر میرسید مُرده است، پزشکان از دوستانش اجازه گرفتند تا جسد او را کالبدشکافی کنند، اما درخواست آنها پذیرفته نشد. همانطور که اغلب پس از رد شدن این درخواستها چنین اتفاقی میافتد، پزشکانِ کنجکاو تصمیم گرفتند که پنهانی جسد او را از قبرش بیرون بکشند. با توجه به افراد زیادی که در لندن برای تشریح، نبش قبر میکنند، ترتیب دادن این کار به راحتی انجام شد؛ در شب سوم پس از خاکسپاری، بدنِ فردِ ظاهراً مُرده را از گوری به عمق ۲٫۵ متر بیرون کشیدند و در دخمهای در یکی از بیمارستانهای خصوصی پنهانش کردند.
وقتی شکم او را بریدند، با دیدن ظاهر تازه و غیرپوسیدهی درون آن متوجه استفاده از باتری شدند. آزمایشها یکی پس از دیگری موفقیتآمیز بودند و اثرات مرسوم بدون هیچ نکتهی ویژهای اتفاق میافتادند، به جز آنکه در یکی دو مورد آنچه با آن روبهرو میشدند بیش از حد معمول زنده به نظر میرسید.
دیروقت شده و نزدیک طلوع خورشید بود و به نظر میآمد که درست نیست بیش از آن کالبدشکافی را ادامه بدهند. با این حال، یکی از دانشجویان مشتاق بود تا نظریهی خودش را آزمایش کند و اصرار داشت تا باتری را به یکی از عضلههای سینهاش وصل کنند. عجولانه برشی روی قفسهی سینهاش ایجاد کردند و سیمی را به آن متصل کردند. ناگهان بیمار با حرکتی تکاندهنده از روی میز برخاست و روی زمین ایستاد، به مدت چند ثانیه با حالتی عصبی به خودش خیره شد و بعد صحبت کرد. حرفهایش قابلفهم نبودند، اما او داشت واژگانی را به زبان میآورد؛ هجابندیاش قابل تشخیص بود. در حال صحبت کردن به شدت روی زمین افتاد.
برای لحظاتی تمام پزشکان از شدت شگفتزدگی بیحرکت مانده بودند، اما حساس بودن این مورد به سرعت آنها را به خود آورد. گرچه آقای استپلتون در شرف غش کردن بود، مشخصاً زنده بود. پس از استنشاق مقداری اتر، احیا شد و به سرعت سلامتی خود را به دست آورد و به جامعه و نزد دوستانش بازگشت. البته تا زمانی که میترسید دوباره بمیرد، ماجرای احیا شدنش را از دوستانش پنهان کرد. شگفتزدگی بیحدوحصر دوستانش کاملاً قابلدرک است.
با این حال، این خود آقای استپلتون بود که بیشتر از همه از این اتفاق شگفتزده شده بود. او اعلام کرد که در هیچ زمانی کاملاً بیهوش نبوده است و گرچه گیج بوده و مغزش کُند کار میکرده است، از زمانی که پزشکان او را مُرده اعلام کردند تا زمانی که روی زمین بیمارستان از حال رفت، نسبت به تمام اتفاقات اطرافش آگاه بوده است. واژگان نامفهومی که هنگام فهمیدن اینکه در اتاق تشریح است و با تمام وجودش تلاش کرده بود تا به زبان بیاورد «من زندهام» بوده است.
افزودن به چنین داستانهایی بسیار ساده است، اما البته که من از این کار خودداری میکنم، چون برای اثبات واقعیتِ رخ دادنِ زنده به گوری، نیازی به این کار نیست. اگر به این مسئله بیاندیشیم که با توجه به ماهیت موضوع، چگونه به ندرت توانایی تشخیص این مسئله را داریم، میپذیریم که اغلب بدون آنکه حتی متوجه شویم این اتفاق میافتد. در حقیقت به ندرت گورستانها به دلایل مختلف مورد بررسی قرار گرفتهاند، در غیر این صورت کشف گورهای خالی از اسکلت سوءظنهای وحشتناکی را برمیانگیخت.
درست است که چنین سوءظنی وحشتناک است، اما نه به وحشتناکی دچار شدن به چنین سرنوشتی. ممکن است بدون هیچ تردیدی گفته شود که هیچ رویدادی به اندازهی زنده به گور شدن نمیتواند منجر به اضطراب جسمانی و روانیای به این شدت در فرد شود. فشار غیرقابل تحملی که به ریهها وارد میشود، گاز خفهکنندهی برخاسته از رطوبتِ زمین، پیچیده شده در کفن، فشار دیوارههای باریکِ تابوت، تاریکی مطلق، سکوتی شبیه به سکوت غرق شدن در دریا، حضور نادیدنی ولی ملموس کِرمها و اندیشیدن به هوا و چمنی که کمی بالاتر قرار دارد، خاطرهی دوستانی که اگر میدانستند دچار چه سرنوشتی شدی به سرعت خودشان را برای نجات تو به آنجا میرساندند و آگاهی از اینکه آنها هرگز از این موضوع خبردار نخواهند شد که ناامیدانه آرزو داشتیم که واقعاً مُرده باشیم، فکر میکنم چنین اندیشههایی به قلبی که هنوز میتپد، ترس مخوف و غیرقابل تحملی را منتقل میکند که حتی شجاعترین ذهنهای خلاق نیز باید از اندیشیدن به آن دوری کنند. هیچ اتفاقی روی زمین دردناکتر از چنین چیزی نیست، و در قلمروهای پست جهنم، نمیتوانیم هیچ چیزی را که حتی نصف این اتفاق ترسناک باشد تصور کنیم. بنابراین تمام روایتهایی با محوریت این موضوع، توجه مردم را به شدت به خود جلب میکنند؛ البته این علاقهمندی که برخاسته از شگفتی مقدس خود موضوع است، به درستی و به شدت، بستگی به باور به حقیقی بودن روایت دارد. حال میخواهم از دانش واقعی و تجربهی شخصی خودم برایتان بگویم.
سالها از حملات اختلالی رنج میبردم که پزشکان موافقت کرده بودند که تا زمانی که عنوان بهتری برای آن پیدا کنند، آن را «کاتالپسی»[۹] بنامند. گرچه علل ضروری و زمینهساز مبتلا شدن به این بیماری و حتی تشخیص واقعیاش هنوز به درستی آشکار نیست، پزشکان به اندازهی کافی متوجه ویژگیهای ظاهری و مشخصش شدهاند. به نظر میرسد عمدتاْ براساس تغییر در درجاتش به انواع مختلف دستهبندی میشود. گاهی بیمار برای یک روز، یا شاید مدت کوتاهتری با نوعی از رخوت اغراقآمیزی دراز میکشد. او بیحس و از بیرون بیحرکت است؛ اما ضربان ضعیف قلبش حس میشود؛ نشانههایی از گرما در بدن او وجود دارد؛ تهرنگی بر گونههایش باقی مانده است؛ و اگر آینهای را جلوی دهانش بگیریم متوجه عمل نامتعادل، سست و ضعیف ریهی او میشویم. اما وقتی این دوره هفتهها یا حتی ماهها به طول میانجامد، دقیقترین بررسیها و آزمایشات پزشکی هم قادر به تشخیص تمایز میان این وضعیت و آنچه را که ما مرگ قطعی میدانیم، نیستند.
فرد مبتلا به این اختلال معمولاً فقط به تشخیص دوستانش که پیشتر از این بیماری رنج کشیدهاند و مهمتر از همه، از آنجایی که دچار پوسیدگی نمیشود، از این سوءظن که مُرده است، نجات پیدا میکند. خوشبختانه این بیماری به تدریج پیشرفت میکند. اولین نشانههای بروز این بیماری واضح و روشناند. این حملات به صورت پیوسته بیشتر و بیشتر متمایز میشوند و هر بار بیشتر از دفعهی پیش طول میکشند. در همین نکته است که قاعدهی اصلی حفاظت در برابر زنده به گور شدن قرار دارد. بختبرگشتهای که اولیه حملهای که به او دست میدهد، از آن حملات بسیار شدید و طولانیست، تقریباً در بیشتر موارد، درحالی که در واقع هنوز زنده است، راهی قبرستان میشود.
بیماری من با مواردی از این بیماری که در کتابهای پزشکی به آنها اشاره شده است فرق چندانی ندارد. گاهی، بدون هیچ علت آشکاری، به تدریج وارد وضعیت نیمهسنکوپ یا تقریباً بیهوش میشدم؛ و در این وضعیت، بدون درد، بدون آنکه بتوانم کوچکترین حرکتی بکنم، حرفی بزنم یا فکر کنم، صرفاً آگاهی اندکی از جریان زندگی در اطرافم و حضور کسانی داشتم که بر بالینم حضور داشتند. تا زمانی که بحران از سرم میگذشت و ناگهان دوباره حواسم برمیگشتند در همین وضعیت باقی میماندم. در مواقع دیگر، به سرعت و ناگهانی از حال میرفتم، بیمار و بیحس میشدم، بدنم یخ میکرد، سرم گیج میرفت و ناگهان بر زمین میافتادم. پس از آن، هفتهها همه چیز خالی، تاریک و خاموش بود و جهان برایم تبدیل به عدم میشد. این میتوانست منجر به نابودی کامل من شود. با این حال، در این حملات آخر هم به نسبت ناگهانی بودن از هوش رفتنم، به تدریج به هوش میآمدم. روح به بدن من همانطور به آرامی، درخشان و به کندی بازمیگشت که سپیدهی صبح برای گدای بیکس و کار و بیخانمانی که در شبهای زمستانی بلند، در خیابانهای متروکه پرسه میزند فرامیرسد.
به جز تمایل به بیهوش شدن، وضعیت عمومی سلامتیام خوب بود. البته متوجه نبودم که این بیماری ناخوشایند تمام جنبههای زندگیام را تحت تأثیر قرار داده است؛ مثلاً تغییر کوچکی در وضعیت خوابم، مرا تحت فشار قرار میداد. وقتی از چرت کوتاهی بیدار میشدم، حواسم فوراً سر جایش نمیآمد و همیشه دقایقی از گیجی و سردرگمی را پشت سر میگذاشتم؛ قوای ذهنیام در کل و حافظهام به طور خاص، در وضعیت توقف مطلق قرار میگرفتند.
در تمام این مدت من از هیچ نوع درد جسمانیای رنج نمیبردم، بلکه به شدت از اندوهی اخلاقی در عذاب بودم. تمام خیالاتم حول محور گورستان میچرخید، فقط از «کرم و گور و نوشتههای روی سنگ قبر» حرف میزدم. در خیالات مربوط به مرگ گم شده بودم و ایدهی زنده به گور شدن همیشه در ذهنم حضور داشت. این خطر هولناکی که مرا تهدید میکرد، روز و شب را از من گرفته بود. رنجی که روزها از فکر کردن به آن میکشیدم در شب به منتهی درجهی خود میرسید. وقتی تاریکی زمین را فرامیگرفت، با هر اندیشهی وحشتناکی، همچون پرهایی که بالای کالسکهی نعشکشی در باد میلرزند، بر خود میلرزیدم. هنگامی که طبیعت دیگر یارای مقابله با این ضعف را نداشت، به سختی قبول میکردم که کمی بخوابم، درحالی که با فکر کردن به اینکه ممکن است هنگام بیدار شدن زیر سنگ قبری باشم لرزه بر تنم میافتاد. و وقتی در نهایت به خواب میرفتم، فوراً وارد جهانی از ارواح میشدم که با بالهای گسترده، سیاهرنگ و سایهافکن بر فراز قبری شناور بودند.
از میان تصاویر تاریک بی حد و حصری که در رویاهایم مرا میآزردند، یکی از آنها را برای بازگو کردن انتخاب میکنم. گویی دچار یکی از حملات کاتالپسی شده بودم که از همیشه عمیقتر بود و بیشتر به طول انجامید. ناگهان دست بسیار یخی را روی پیشانیام احساس کردم، و صدای بیقراری و ناشمردهای این کلمات را در گوشم زمزمه کرد: «برخیز!»
راست نشستم. تاریکی همه جا را فراگرفته بود. نمیتوانستم کسی را که بیدارم کرده بود ببینم. نمیتوانستم به خاطر بیاورم که در چه زمان و مکانی این حمله به من دست داده بود. درحالی که بیحرکت باقی مانده بودم و در تلاش بودم تا افکارم را جمع و جور کنم، آن دست سرد مچم را با خشونت گرفت و با عصبانیت تکانش داد و دوباره با آن صدای ناشمردهاش گفت: «برخیز! مگر به تو امر نکردم که برخیزی؟» پرسیدم: «تو کیستی؟» آن صدا، ماتمزده پاسخ داد: «در منطقهای که زندگی میکنم، نامی ندارم. من موجودی فانی، اما شرور بودم. بیرحم، اما ترحمبرانگیز بودم. تو باید متوجه لرزش من شده باشی. وقتی صحبت میکنم، دندانهایم به هم میخورند. اما این لرزش بر اثر سرمای شبی بیپایان نیست. بلکه بر اثر غیرقابل تحمل بودن این فلاکت و بدبختیست. چطور میتوانی به آرامی بخوابی؟ من از شدت این اندوه نمیتوانم چشم بر هم بگذارم. دیدن این مناظر خارج از تحمل مناند. برخیز! با من به دل شب بیا و بگذار برایت این گورها را باز کنم. اینک ببین که این نمایشی از اندوه است!» نگاه کردم و آن فرد نادیدنی که هنوز مچ دستم را گرفته بود کاری کرد که قبر تمام انسانها باز شد و از هر یک از آنها پرتوی پوسیدگی سبز رنگ محوی بیرون زد؛ بنابراین توانستم عمیقترین گوشههای آن را ببینیم، بدنهای کفنپوشی را ببینم که با چهرههای غمگین به صورت رسمی، در کنار کِرمها خفته بودند. اما دریغا که تعداد کسانی که واقعاً به خواب رفته بودند بسیار کمتر از میلیونها نفری بود که اصلاً خواب نبودند. آنها با ناتوانی تقلا میکردند و فضا به طور کل سرشار از بیقراری غمانگیزی بود و از اعماق گورها صدای خش خش کفنها به گوش میرسید. و دیدم که وضعیت ثابت تعداد زیادی از کسانی هم که ظاهراً به آرامی در قبرهایشان غنوده بودند، کمابیش تغییر کرده بود. همانطور که خیره بودم، آن صدا دوباره گفت: «آه! آیا این منظرهی رقتبرانگیزی نیست؟» اما پیش از آنکه من کلامی برای پاسخ دادن پیدا کنم، آن موجود مچ دستم را رها کرد، نور سبز رنگ ناپدید شد و درپوشِ قبرها ناگهان با خشونت بسته شد، درحالی که از میان آنها فریاد ناامید و ملتهب برخاست که دوباره میگفت: «آه! آیا این منظرهی رقتبرانگیزی نیست؟» خیالاتی این چنینی که اغلب شبها به سراغ آدم میآیند، در طول روز هم که بیدار بودم، تأثیر شگرفی بر من میگذاشتند. اعصابم کاملاً به هم ریخته و وحشت همیشگی بر من غالب شده بود. از قدم زدن و انجام هر نوع حرکت جسمانی که باعث میشدند مجبور شوم از خانه خارج شوم اجتناب میکردم. در واقع، دیگر آنقدر به خودم اعتماد نداشتم که بتوانم حتی لحظهای از کنار افرادی که از وضعیت بیماری من آگاه بودند دور شوم چون میترسیدم دچار یکی از حملاتم شوم و پیش از آنکه پی به بیماریام ببرند، زنده زنده خاکم کنند. به وفاداری و توجه عزیرترین دوستانم شک کرده بودم. میترسیدم که در یکی از بیهوشیهایم که بیشتر از حد معمول طول میکشید، شاید تصور کنند که دیگر امیدی به بازگشت من نیست. حتی به این هم فکر میکردم که چون برای آنها زحمت زیادی درست کردهام ممکن است، بیهوشیهای طولانیمدت مرا دلیلی کافی برای این بدانند که کلاً از شر من راحت شوند. بیهوده تلاش میکردند تا به من اطمینان خاطر بدهند که به عهدشان وفا خواهند کرد. از آنها خواسته بودم تا قسم بخورند که تحت هیچ شرایطی، تا زمانی که بدنم به حدی شروع به تجزیه کرده باشد که دیگر امیدی به نجاتم نباشد، مرا خاک نکنند.
و حتی در آن زمان هم ترسهای مهلک من نه به حرفهای منطقی گوش میسپرد نه به هیچ شکلی تسلا مییافت. شروع به انجام اقدامهای احتیاطی دقیقی کردم. به جز تمام اینها به خانوادهام گفته بودم تا در مقبره را درست کنند به طوری که از داخل هم به راحتی قابل باز شدن باشد. فشار آرامی به در مقبره باعث میشد تا دروازهی آهنی آن باز شود. اقداماتی هم برای بهرهمندی از هوا و نور انجام داده بودم. مخزنی از آب و غذا را هم در نزدیکی تابوت قرار داده بودم که دستم به راحتی از درون تابوت به آن میرسید. لایهی نرم و گرمی درون تابوت کشیده شده بودم و درپوش آن درست مانند در مقبره به نحوی ساخته شده بود که از درون بتواند باز شود و فنرهای اضافی در آن تعبیه شده بود تا با کوچکترین حرکت باز شود. افزون بر تمام اینها، زنگولهی بسیار بزرگی از سقف مقبره آویزان بود و طنابی به آن وصل بود که از سوراخی وارد تابوت میشد و در دست جسد درون آن قرار میگرفت. اما افسوس که در برابر سرنوشتِ انسان هیچ یک از این احتیاطها راهگشا نخواهند بود. هیچ یک از این تدابیر امنیتی نمیتوانست به طور کامل مرا در برابر رنج زنده به گور شدن محافظت کند.
سپس لحظهای فرارسید که همچون بارهای گذشته، از وضعیت بیهوشی کامل وارد نخستین مرحلهای شدم که در آن به صورت ضعیف و معلقی احساس میکردم وجود دارم. به تدریج و با سرعتِ آهستهی لاکپشتی، وارد پرتوی خاکستری رنگ روز شدم. خوابی ناآسوده. تحمل بیاحساسی از دردی راکد. نه کسی از من مراقبت میکرد، نه امیدی داشتم و نه میشد تلاشی کرد. بعد از وقفهای طولانی، صدای زنگی را در گوشهایم میشنیدم؛ پس از سپری شدنِ زمانی طولانی، گزگز و مورموری را در اعضای بدنم احساس میکردم، پس از گذراندن دورهای از سکون، دیدن تقلای احساساتم برای بیدار شدن و به اندیشه در آمدن بسیار لذتبخش بود؛ بعد دوباره به مدتی کوتاه درون عدم فرو رفتم و ناگهان دوباره خوب شدم. در نهایت، پلکهایم به آرامی لرزیدند و پس از آن فوراً شوک الکتریکیای ناشی از ترسی مرگبار و بیحد و حصر بر من وارد شد که جریان خون را از شقیقهها به قلبم رساند. حالا باید تمام تلاشم را میکردم تا اتفاقی را که افتاده بود به یاد بیاورم. به صورت نصفه نیمه و ناپایدار موفق شدم. آنقدری از حافظهام بازگشته بود که بتوانم تا حدودی نسبت به وضعیتام آگاه باشم. احساس میکردم که در حال بیدار شدن از خوابی معمولی نیستم. به خاطر آوردم که دچار کاتالپسیام. و حال، در نهایت، گویی با خیزش ناگهانی امواج اقیانوس، روح متزلزلام را خطری تاریک، ایدهای خیالی و همیشگی فراگرفت.
پس از آنکه این خیال چند دقیقهای بر من غالب شد، بیحرکت باقی ماندم.
چرا؟ نمیتوانستم جرئت لازم برای حرکت کردن را در خود جمع کنم. نمیخواستم تلاش کنم تا سرنوشتم را بپذیرم، و با این حال چیزی در قلبم زمزمه میکرد که حقیقت دارد. یأسی چنان عمیق که تا به حال کسی دچارش نشده است، پس از تردیدی طولانی مرا ترغیب کرد تا پلکهای سنگینم را باز کنم. چشمانم را باز کردم. همه جا تاریک بود. میدانستم که بیهوشیِ آخر کار خودش را کرده است. میدانستم که مدتها از بحران اختلالم میگذرد. میدانستم که قوهی بیناییام به طور کامل بازگشته است، اما با این حال هنوز همه جا تاریک بود، تاریکی شدید و عمیق شبی که هرگز به پایان نخواهد رسید.
تلاش کردم تا فریادی بزنم، اما لبها و زبانم خشک شده بود و با اینکه هم زمان تکانشان دادم، هیچ صدایی از ریههایم که گویی وزن کوهی بر آنها سنگینی میکرد خارج نشد. به زحمت بریده بریده نفش میکشیدم و قلبم میتپید.
از حرکت آروارههایم در تلاش برای فریاد زدن متوجه شدم که همچون جسدهای دیگر آنها را بستهاند. همچنین احساس کردم که روی مادهی سختی دراز کشیدهام و چیزی از همان جنس به کنارم فشار داده میشود. تا آن موقع نتوانسته بودم هیچ یک از اعضای بدنم را تکانی بدهم، اما حالا با خشونت یکی از دستهایم را که به صورت صلیب روی سینهام قرار گرفته بود بالا بردم. مادهای چوبی، به ارتفاع حدود ۱۵ سانتیمتر بالاتر از من گسترش یافته بود. دیگر شکی نداشتم که درون یک تابوت خوابیده بودم.
اما ناگهان در میان تمام رنجهای بی حد و حصرم ، به یاد اقدامهای احتیاطیام افتادم و نور امیدی در دلم روشن شد. پیچ و تابی به بدنم دادم و فشاری به درپوش تابوت آوردم تا آن را باز کنم: هیچ تکانی نخورد. مچ دستم را جلو آوردم تا طناب زنگوله را احساس کنم: طنابی آنجا نبود. در این لحظه تسلا برای همیشه در من از بین رفت و جای خود را به ناامیدی سفت و محکمی داد، چون نمیتوانستم جلوی خودم را بگیرم و به نبود بالشتی که با دقت برای خودم تهیه کرده بودم فکر نکنم. ناگهان بوی عجیب خاک مرطوب به مشامم رسید. نتیجهای که گرفتم قابلاجتناب نبود. من درون مقبرهی خانوادگیمان قرار نداشتم. زمانی که در خانه نبودم، در میان غریبهها، از هوش رفته بودم. چه موقع یا چگونگیاش را نمیتوانستم به خاطر بیاورم و آن افراد غریبه بودند که مرا مانند سگی، در تابوتی معمولی قرار داده و دفنم کرده بودند و برای همیشه در گوری به شدت عمیق و بی نام و نشان گیر افتاده بودم.
وقتی این واقعیت به اعماق دخمههای روحم وارد شدم، باری دیگر تلاش کردم تا از ته دل فریاد بزنم. در این تلاش دوم موفق شدم. فریادی طولانی، وحشیانه و ممتد یا فریادی از سر اندوه از میان قلمروهای زیرزمینی شب به گوش رسید.
صدای زمختی در پاسخ گفت: «هِی! هِی!»
صدای دوم گفت: «این دیگر چه کوفتی بود؟»
صدای سوم گفت: «از آنجا بیا بیرون!»
صدای چهارم گفت: «چرا شبیه وحشیها، این شکلی فریاد میزنی؟»
با شنیدن این پاسخهای زمخت، ناگهان چند دقیقهای درحالی که میلرزیدم همانطور بیحرکت باقی ماندم. آنها مرا بیدار نکرده بودند، چون وقتی فریاد زدم کاملاً هوشیار بودم، اما باعث شدند به خودم بیایم و حافظهام سر جایش برگردد.
این اتفاق در ریچموند[۱۰] در نزدیکی ویرجینیا اتفاق افتاد. در فاصلهی چند مایلی بانک جیمز ریور[۱۱]، همراه یکی از دوستانم از هیئت اعزامی تیراندازی پیشی گرفتیم. با نزدیک شدن شب، گرفتار طوفان شدیم. کابین کشتی کوچکی که در رود لنگر انداخته بود و پُر از کپک بود، تنها سرپناه ما بود. ما بهترین استفاده را از آن کردیم و شب را همانجا گذراندیم. من در یکی از دو اتاقک کشتی خوابیدم و البته نیازی به توصیف بار چند تُنی آنجا نیست. در جایی که قرار گرفتم هیچ نوع لوازمی برای خوابیدن وجود نداشت. عرض آنجا نهایتاً نیم متر بود. فاصلهی آن تا ته قایق و عرشه دقیقاً به یک اندازه بود. به سختی توانستم خودم را در آنجا جا بدهم. با این حال، به راحتی خوابیدم. نه رویایی دیده بودم و نه کابوسی، بلکه به صورت طبیعی، صرفاً به دلیل وضعیتی که در آن قرار گرفته بودم، و به دلیل دشواری جمع کردن حواس و بازیافتن حافظهام بعد از خوابی طولانی بود که چنین افکاری به ذهنم خطور کرده بودند. مردانی که مرا شوکه کرده بودند، کارکنان آن کشتی و کارگرانی در حال خالی کردن بار آن بودند. بوی خاک مرطوب برخاسته از آن بار بود. آن چه که فکر کرده بودم آروارهام با آن بسته شده است، در واقع دستمال گردن ابریشمیای بود که به جای شبکلاه معمولم، سرم را در میان آن پیچیده بودم.
البته رنجی که کشیدم بدون تردید دقیقاً به اندازهی رنجی بود که اگر واقعاً به خاک سپرده شده بودم میکشیدم و به طرز غیرقابل تصوری وحشتناک بود. اما از آنجایی که بار اضافی آن بر روحم تغییر ناگهانی اجتنابناپذیری را در پی داشت، در نهایت این اتفاق ناخوشایند، ختم به خیر شد. نیاز به تغییر حال و هوایم داشت. به خارج سفر کردم. ورزشهای سنگین کردم. هوای تازهی بهشت را تنفس کردم. به هر چیزی جز مرگ فکر کردم. کتابهای پزشکیام را دور انداختم. کتابهای ترسناکم را سوزاندم و دیگر سراغ داستانهای ترسناک مربوط به مرگ و قبرستان، مانند همین داستان، نرفتم. خلاصه اینکه تبدیل به مرد جدیدی شدم و زندگی درستی را در پیش گرفتم. از آن شب خاطرهانگیز به بعد، برای همیشه ترسهای مربوط به گورستان را کنار گذاشتم، و با این کار حتی اختلال کاتالپسیام هم خوب شد که شاید بیشتر از آنکه دلیل این ترسها بوده باشد، بر اثر آنها در من به وجود آمده بود.
لحظاتی در زندگی انسان وجود دارد که حتی در چشم عقل سلیم هم جهان غمانگیز انسانیتمان ممکن است شبیه به جهنم به نظر برسد؛ اما تخیل انسان آنقدر پاک و مطهر نیست که بعد از بررسی تک تک سوراخ سنبههای این جهان همچنان بدون آسیب باقی بماند. افسوس! وحشت از تعداد زیاد مواردِ زنده به گوری را نمیتوان تماماً خیالی دانست، اما این وحشت، باید همچون شیاطینی که افراسیاب به همراه آنها از رود جیحون گذر کرد، به خواب بروند، چون در غیر این صورت ما را خواهند بلعید. آنها باید به خواب بروند وگرنه باعث مرگ ما خواهند شد.
[۱] Beresina
[۲] سرکوب گسترده و خونین پروتستانهای فرانسوی کالوینیست در جریان جنگهای مذهبی فرانسه و به سال ۱۵۷۲ بود. این فاجعه به دست شارل نهم، پادشاه وقت فرانسه، صورت گرفت.
[۳] Baltimore
[۴] Mademoiselle Victorine Lafourcade
[۵] Julien Bossuet
[۶] Monsieur Renelle
[۷] The “Chirurgical Journal” of Leipsic
[۸] Mr. Edward Stapleton
[۹] کاتالپسی، چوبوارگی یا خشکی ماهیچهای حالتی عصبیست که با سفتی ماهیچهها، عدم تغییر وضعیت فیزیکی و کاهش حساسیت به درد همراه است.
[۱۰] Richmond
[۱۱] James River
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